Hat-Tricks.

[YeltzDoc]

Nearly spat my beer across the train listening to 606 when Chris Sutton said that Haarland was the first player to score back-to-back hat-tricks at the start of a season since Paul J….ewell.

I’ll leave notable St John’s Wood resident Brother Shakespeare to fill in the statistiques…

[Laurel Lane Lamper]

I think you mean:
19-Aug-89 SPALDING H 931 3 1 WILLIAMS MANSELL CASH SMITH E MORRALL PRICE HAZLEWOOD PENN FIELD JOINSON P*** JOINSON L subs: HUNTER WOOD
22-Aug-89 R C WARWICK A 587 4 3 WILLIAMS MANSELL CASH SMITH E MORRALL PRICE HAZLEWOOD# PENN FIELD JOINSON P***JOINSON L subs:HUNTER WOOD
which were the first 2 matches of the 1989/90 season. Mr Haaland needs to sharpen up a bit for the start of next season.
Paul proceeded to score in all of the first 9 games of that season.

[YeltzDoc]

Chapeau Chas.

A later-career moustachioed one by that time, but he was absolutely on fire that year, finishing with 49.

As amazing as anything was that the original a reference was Paul Jewell. Although he’s still thought of fondly up here for both his playing and managerial spell with The Bantams, I don’t remember him as anything like prolific and Wiki confirms.
Nice to know that all centre-forwards don’t (or, I suspect, didn’t) need to be monsters or whippets.

[piearce9]

Giddings-esque

[Laurel Lane Lamper]

Giddings-esque

Only in that his hat trick was on debut as was Robin Whetnall's in 1969 when David Timmington scored a hat trick in the first match of that season.

[YeltzDoc]

Giddings-esque

Fewer potential consequences.
IYKYK.

[piearce9]

Giddings-esque

Only in that his hat trick was on debut as was Robin Whetnall's in 1969 when David Timmington scored a hat trick in the first match of that season.

First game of the season too, wasn't it? I had a look at his overall scoring record and he only scored another four goals

I'm not ITK with the Doc reference, though - for the best, by the sounds of it

[Noggin]

Not forgetting the Jermaine Palmer debut hat-trick on 27-March-2007 against Wealdstone.
Also notable for Noggin Jr being a mascot and Mrs Noggin's sole (to date) appearance at a football match

[piearce9]

I think Jermaine Palmer only turned up once or twice as well

[Noggin]

I think Jermaine Palmer only turned up once or twice as well

One of those being the scorer of our goal in the 2-1 defeat at Chippenham - the one where Dean Brennan and M**s*n has their slight disagreement on tactics